Divorce Mediation Services
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Divorce is a time of change for families. Divorce is also a time of great emotional upheaval. These changes and emotions can result in conflicts between family members. How these conflicts are resolved can influence a family‘s adjustment to divorce.
For most people conflict is frightening and stressful. However, conflict can result in productive airing of differences and can lead to creative solutions that address the changing needs of all family members. Even in the face of anger, fear, and hurt, it is possible for people to negotiate an agreement that balances the interests of each family member and benefits everyone.
Mediation is a creative, efficient way for family members to resolve their conflicts during and after a divorce. It provides a place to talk and stay in charge of your life. When couples decide for themselves, there is a reduction of frustration, anger and helplessness. Studies show that people who mediate tend to abide by their agreements, and it is far better for the children than agreements imposed by the court.
A family does not cease to exist after a divorce. It evolves into two new family units. Through divorce mediation, families are aided in making this difficult transition in a less painful and less expensive way.
WHAT IS DIVORCE MEDIATION?
Divorce mediation is a tested process for couples who have already decided to dissolve their marriage. Both-spouses meet with an impartial and objective trained divorce mediator, within a confidential setting, to negotiate mutually beneficial terms which will govern their relationship after the divorce.
During these meetings with the mediator, the couple works out all details of their agreement: how they will share the cost of raising the children, how they will divide the assets between two new family units, future family living arrangements, and how each parent will be involved in a child rearing and family decisions.
Issues are discussed one at a time and various options explored so the best possible agreement can be reached. The process is a mutual search for reasonable solutions. Neither spouse can “win” at the other’s expense. The terms of the agreement that emerge from the process must be acceptable to both partners.
Divorce mediation asks the couple to rely on their own sense of fairness toward each other, the children and family. The entire process allows you to control the decisions that affect your life. Communication skills developed during mediation often help with future planning and can establish a stage for cooperative post—divorce parental relationships.
HOW DOES A COUPLE BEGIN THE MEDIATION PROCESS?
Once the decision to divorce is made, the couple has an orientation meeting. This session with the mediator reviews the entire process and helps determine whether or not mediation is desired; is a working meeting where the mediator discusses the process: the mediation rules, the mediator’s role and the information a couple will need to proceed; identifies issues including how the couple will share the cost of raising the children, how they will divide assets between two new family units, future family living arrangements and how each parent will be involved in child rearing; reviews all materials needed to help a couple make decisions in the mediation proces
After the meeting, a couple has a complete outline and knowledge of the process, what information will be required, issues needing resolution and a plan to follow.
HOW MUCH TIME DOES DIVORCE MEDIATION TAKE?
Most couples can work out arrangements of the separation in an average of four to five sessions depending upon the complexity of each situation.
WHAT DOES DIVORCE MEDIATION COST?
The cost depends upon the time it takes to work out an agreement. Fees are based on an hourly rate. No financial retainer is required.
DOES DIVORCE MEDIATION ELIMINATE THE NEED FOR AN ATTORNEY?
It is suggested that a couple retain attorneys as consultants throughout the process. Once agreement is reached by the couple, the mediator prepares a Memorandum of Understanding. The couple then gives this to their attorneys who, in turn, draw up the final legal document for filing with the court.
DOES DIVORCE MEDIATION SAVE TIME AND MONEY?
Yes. Developing your own settlement eliminates prolonged, costly legal negotiations.
DOES DIVORCE MEDIATION ELIMINATE THE NEED TO RETURN TO COURT AFTER THE DIVORCE?
Usually. Because a couple mutually agrees upon the terms of the divorce and may return to a mediator to resolve any differences that might arise, fewer cases return to court.
HOW DOES DIVORCE MEDIATION HELP CHILDREN?
It is very comforting to children to see their parents working together to resolve issues rather than fighting and competing over them. The couple may choose whether or not to bring the children to a mediation session to discuss the separation, what it means to them, how it affects the family and what they can expect. The discussions offer children a better understanding of what is happening to their family and an opportunity to voice their concerns and questions.
IS THERE POST- DIVORCE MEDIATION?
Yes. Parents may disagree about scheduling arrangements or other parental responsibilities once the marriage is dissolved. These differences can be resolved through mediation.
Bryna B. Bettigole LICSW, BCD
29 Wilcox Avenue
Pawtucket, RI 02860
(401)723-0353
Bryna@BBBMediation.com
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